Indian Traffic Boards

This morning, I had just finished watching the second movie back to back, when Abhishek (my Quizmate for the last year and a half, before which I had teammates of the likes of Shiva, Madhu and Hari), messages me taunting me. The message read “….I know you will be shocked seeing this message, especially at this time. I just wanted to say Good Morning…..” Now, I couldn’t resist messaging him back wishing him the same. We got messaging and I asked him to come out for a walk, which he declined. I went anyway, and got a few photographs. I normally go walking late evenings and that makes it very hard to get photographs, The lighting makes it almost impossible even if your camera boasts of a Xenon flash and there is always the risk of people thinking you are being voyeuristic. πŸ™‚

Traffic-01

It’s almost as if these boards are meant for disoriented pedestrians . It’s a warning. Look out. There is a tree ahead. If you are carrying a torch, the reflectors will come in handy.

Traffic-02

Thank God, I was walking. If you were on a vehicle, you are actually expected to throw your cell phone out. Don’t you know the new rule ? It was passed in the parliament a few days back. It is to target cell phone users to use public transport facilities. The MTC drivers did protest though.

Traffic-03

This is awesome. The speed limit is 40. You know, if ever you get caught, you don’t have to pay the cops money. You can prove it to them that you were traveling only at 40. You need to do a few conversions, and confuse them of course. But then if the cops are relentless saying “That and all I don’t know. 40 means 40, now give fifty and go”, then you still have a weapon. Pay him only twenty five bucks. (If you are an engineer.) Do you know how they say they will reduce half the marks for answers where you forget to mention the units ?

Traffic-04

If the previous one was awesome, this one is even better. 40 kmps. Whoa!! Do they even know how much that is ? I’ll tell you what, all of you drive at whatever speeds you want. Feel confident. No matter how hard you try, I assure you, you will be within that speed limit prescribed there.

I feel a bit dejected though. They didn’t include aeroplanes and space shuttles on the picture. Maybe even Light. πŸ™‚

(There is also this pic which I will post later where the unit for speed is equally creative. Credit goes to Marc for spotting that one. These three photos are almost like triumvirates of Indian Traffic Boards.)

Traffic-05

Speed break. Yes. And have you observed how these boards always have two curves, whereas in reality there is always either one of them or three of them. It’s so that the driver brakes anyway. πŸ˜› Even if he doesn’t read the board. Trust me, it works.

Traffic-06

What message are they trying to convey ? I fail to understand.

Traffic-07

Be aware. Be totally aware. What they are saying is if you (men) ever get married (or already are), and your wife will/is carry/ing your baby, then you can accuse her of being a thief. “You thief!! I read that board in Besant Nagar.I know what your intentions are. I am aware of you” Don’t be surprised if your wife then plans to divorce you.

Traffic-08

Those house owners need to take it easy in and out of the garage. What are they thinking ? (Actually while photographing this, this girl from inside the house was looking at me suspiciously as if I was up to something. My intentions were honorable of course. πŸ™‚ Which is why I had to stand there an extra few seconds and make sure only the board was in the photo.)

Traffic-09

This one reads “No Sound Horn” “Ok, driver, quick, switch to ultrasound. That should drive the bats away. Is that bat mobile in the front ? Use it again. That bugger never moves”

And that concludes this compilation of Indian Traffic Boards. There’s more to come. I am jobless and I carry a camera phone. πŸ™‚

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15 thoughts on “Indian Traffic Boards

  1. Dude…that “kmps” wins the prize…im sure u took the snap in monza f1 circuit…aint you???LOL
    And that “carry your baby”!!!my good god…i aint got no words to say man…ROFL

  2. And yes…i forgot to tell you…i saw one sign board and it was simply superb…it was like this…”U dont turn”…
    What they mean to say is , u dont have the ‘u-turn” option in that place…unfortunately i didnt have my cam with me…damn!!!

  3. @Gokul,

    πŸ™‚ Should I send it in then ? Actually I get the funda. They don’t want you speeding at night. When you switch your headlights on, they will say, “Gotcha, 3 * 10^8 m/s. Come, come, pay fine.” πŸ™‚

    U don’t turn. πŸ™‚ Nice.

    @Marc,

    Sorry about it. πŸ˜› Stupid spell checker, and I didn’t give it much thought either. I thought of Ivory horns, but that didn’t seem to make sense, except if you are driving around in elephants.(No, even that would be tusk. This board has no future)

  4. Ya send it…just give it a try…after all we know what kinda game is going on in the selection procedure…lol

  5. @Gokul,

    Maybe I will. But yea, not much hope of winning. Rigged and all. Plus I don’t really want any more vouchers.

    @Jai,

    Pleased to have you on my blog.

  6. good one kathik…..ur talkin abt payin fifty bugs…wel i should tell u tis…there are police man who get even worst…there was a time when a police man caught me for goin triples in the bike..i didn had my purse tat time(fortunately)..i had jus some change for my cigarette…tat bastard took even tat from me..all the above he took 8.50 rupees from me…

  7. @Marc,

    They may even stoop that low. πŸ™‚ You never know.

    @Vinod,

    The only reason you even commented on that was because there was a reference to Batman. πŸ˜€ Accept it.

  8. Hi does somebody on here mange to visit this site and see it clearly on their mobile phone eg. blackberry? Any guidance gratefully accepted as to which is the best way to visit this place on the move. I am looking to change my mobile phone shortly

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