Karthik’s Log

Now, if I had even made 1 rupee per hit!! 1 cent wouldn’t have been bad either. But as it turns out, I am almost BPL and am laboring for peanut wages.

Thanks to all the readers for bearing with headache causing content.

Well, firstly, if you are reading this and a song is playing on your computer, let it play on. It’s not about the song that’s playing on your machines though unless, of course coincidence of coincidence, you are playing Rihanna’s “Please don’t stop the music”.

I listened to this song only a few days back, but man, is it amazing or what ? It made me sway to the music, and I must say, not too many songs can claim to do that to me. I don’t really indulge myself by dancing. But for a pacy song such as this, even I felt compelled to do a tiny jig. I have been listening to the same song over and over again. It just gets better with each time.

But wait, there has to be a catch. And there is. Having listened to the song, so many times, I decided to check the video out at youTube. Oh, man was I disappointed or what!! Why am I disappointed ? Well, I have this image built up in my head that if a song makes me dance, then the people in it’s videos must be super-humans dancing like no one could. Then I see the video. I would advice people from watching it if you haven’t listened to the audio. If you have, I would still advice you from not watching the video.

Now, let’s compare that with this video, shall we ?

Here are some observations from the video:

1) Rihanna can’t dance.

2) The dance steps (if I can call it that) are very similar to what a Vijaykanth or a Rajini or say an Amitab Bachchan would do. I think those guys  actually pull it off better.

3) Madonna though older, shows more enthusiasm, than Rihanna does in this video. Even Britney Spears is probably better.

4) Clapping your hands does not count as dance.

5) Adjusting your dress (ahem!! you should wear straps you know ) does not count as dance.

6) Clicking your fingers together most definitely does not count as dance.

7) “Walking” does not count as dance. (We thought we told Ajith that when he attempted it in Godfather (remake of the remake of Don) )

Standing in one place, while people around you are acting epileptic does not count as dance.

Only this other day, I was feeling bad that they don’t play English music any longer on Channel V and MTV. I remember the good old days when they used to play only english music there. But you know what ? Maybe it’s good they don’t. With such videos doing the rounds, it’s better to watch “Kaptain” dance.

I have lived most of my life in Tamil Nadu and I have never had any issues with language. I mean, I can talk Tamil as well as the next guy, read a bit of it and write enough to get me in trouble. I have never had issues, since wherever I went, I could easily manage with English, Hindi or most often Tamil. So, all my life I have never known what it is like to be spoken to by someone in a language you don’t know.

Suddenly that’s changed. I find myself in the middle of (nowhere actually) a place where I know not what they are saying. Sure, I can manage with Hindi, but there are people who don’t understand it. And I’ll tell you what, I don’t like the feeling one bit. Not knowing what someone is saying to you is pissing off.

Why am I writing this all of a sudden. Well, this morning a respectable looking lady asked me directions in Kannada. Well, all I understood was that she was asking for directions. I knew the place she was inquiring about, but then didn’t know how to make conversation. So instead of telling her “Go to that bus stop. Take bus 45 and you’ll be there”, I shrug. Now, I am a decent chap, and I feel bad about this. Now, if she has left it at that, I would have been relieved. But then she asks again quoting another landmark, she hopes I will know. I know this too, but then I don’t know how to tell her in Kannada. Also, worth mentioning is the fact that I was rushing to office. I can’t bring myself to shrug a second time. So, I point to the bus stop and mutter something, no one can understand, and flee from the place. Poor lady, must have been wondering what she said, that made me rush. It was embarrassing.

The second incident happened barely 13 hours later (the number of hours I work these days). I am in a bus back home, when some hot shot two wheeler decides to do some stunt in front of the bus. Now, the conductor getts annoyed and starts saying something. I turn back to see him , and eye meets eye. Suddenly, he takes I am interested in what he is saying and goes on and on with his discourse of which I don’t have the slightest of clue. I dare not tell him “Kannada Gotthilla” (I don’t know Kannada (The only phrase I know in Kannada) ), for the fear that he will punch me in my face. All I managed was to smile at him, turn my gaze away and never look in his direction again. And on the walk back home, I realised, how difficult it must be for people who don’t know the local languge in any place.

Semiya Payasam

Yet another day when I couldn’t find time to go have dinner, and by the time I realised the fact, the shops were all closed. (Yes, in Mangalore, don’t expect even the restaurants to be open after 10:00 PM. If you ever commit that grave mistake, you will have to simply skip dinner. (Or manage with the biscuit packets and coke available in any one of the daring shops, who open their shutters till around midnight.)

So, I come home and I am terribly hungry. Now, I have one packet of Maggi, but that’s simply not going to be enough. Thankfully, I had bought milk in one of those “daring” shops I talked about. Now, what was I going to do with the milk ? Sure I had cornflakes, (I am quite stocked on that front with at least three varieties to choose from.) but I am bored of it. Plus, I need to be “daring” as well, what with the “potti kadais” setting precedent and all. What do you know, I have semiya ( vermicelli) and I have sugar!!

Well, I agree I don’t know abc of making payasam, but hey, it’s worth a try, and it wouldn’t be the first time that I threw something I cooked, if at all it went bad. So I did go ahead and make payasam/kheer. It isn’t so bad after all. Just the right amount of sugar. Pity I didn’t have saffron, cashews and kismiss. ( dry/shriveled grapes ? )