Karthik’s Log

Walk Alone

The day: day before yesterday, the time: too late, don’t bother. (well, actually around 22:00) Our man (ok ,it’s very odd to call myself that) just finished work in office. From office to home, I have a last bus at 22:20. There is one at 22:00 as well, but then, more often than not when I set out to go somewhere at 20:00, I reach there at least 5 minutes late. So the 22:00 bus was a lost cause. So, I was waiting for the 22:20 bus.

I am in the bus stop waiting for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, time simply refuses to fly by. So I go to a potti kadai (don’t know what it is called in Karnataka/Kannada) and buy myself a 7 up mobile bottle. I am sipping the 7 up away to glory waiting for the bus. I notice that it is now 22:25, and the bus still hasn’t come. That’s when you are reminded of a God and start saying prayers “Please God, make this bus come somehow.” I wait till 22:30, and the bus is still not there. Whoa!!! Now I panic.

Finally I decide the bus is never going to come. So the logical next step is to take an auto and go home. But you know what ? Recession has really hit us. It’s time for cost cutting. So instead of doing the smart thing, I decide to walk. My house is a good 7 kilometers from my office. At my usual speed I get there anywhere between 40 minutes and an hour.

I am walking and am almost midway to my house when this guy on a bike stops. He says something in Kannada to which I have no reply, because I don’t have the slightest of clue what he is saying. Now, to describe this guy, he is really stocky. Not fat, but stocky. The type that could probably lift me with one hand, toss me away and laugh about it. He was also dark and that accentuated his red eyes!! And yes, he did look a little drunk. So I manage to say “Kannada gothilla” (which I am told means, “I don’t know Kannada”. So he replies in Hindi saying “you are like a friend to me” and offers a handshake, which I do not refuse. What’s to lose after all ? Then he offers me a lift on his bike. He asks me how far I live and I lie to him saying, just around the corner. Now, I won’t lie about this, but I was scared. I mean there are an infinite number of things he can do if I accepted the lift. The least scariest of them being me getting killed. So somehow I refuse the life and hurry back home.

And I live to tell the tale. The man could really have been a noble soul and maybe he would have dropped me home after all. But then when it is 11:30 in the night and someone you don’t know offers you a lift, you say NO, no matter what. The same is true with giving someone a lift as well. Always be on the lookout.

P.S: The title is borrowed from the Green Day song “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”. My shadow was the only one that walked beside me.

The past one week of my life has been a blur. Why ? Well, lets see. For one, I have been going to office at around 9:30 ( yes, in the morning ) every day and returning home, well at around 4 am in the morning the next day. Whoa!! Talk about over working someone. Which means, I get less than 5 hours of sleep every day. Well, I am a guy who likes to sleep at least 8 hours a day. Two, I have had about 6 of the 15 meals I am supposed to have had over these past 5 days. ( Assuming you have 3 square meals a day ) Some times its lunch, at other times its dinner. And on all 5 days breakfast was totally out of question.

On one occasion, I had to crash in office because I was too tired to even come home. The same morning (not the next morning, mind you ) I was returning home when some early risers were coming to office.

Man, what has life come to ? And the best part is, they ask you to work so long and when its time for your appraisal, they hold the same against you saying “If you were efficient, you could have gone back home at 6 in the evening. I am going to have to grade you a B for efficiency.” Efficiency, my ass !! If I could grow too more arms, and work on two PC’s simultaneously, I would still not be able to complete such huge volumes of work by 6.

Oh and if you thought how I had the time to write this post, if I claim to be so busy after all, I am waiting for a couple of batch jobs, I am testing to complete. Life at it’s very best!!

As my project manager (an amazing person for whom I have a lot of respect) once jokingly remarked, “Work Life balance is like this. For the first 21 years of your life you have LIFE. For the next 40 years, you have WORK. If you survive that long, the remaining is again LIFE” Now I see it was experience speaking.

P.S: I normally don’t crib about work, but then 18 hour work days is something even I cannot take over a period of a week. Especially for the  (meagre little thing they call) salary I get paid.

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DISCLAIMER: This post is not meant to be taken seriously. The author suggests taking it in a lighter vein. (No, not intravenous drugs. I am against drugs!! ) The post is also best taken with a pinch of humor (or snuff if you actually are in the habit. No wait, that is disgusting too!! ) The characters and themes appearing in this post are “absolut-ly” “triple distilled” fictional and any relation with beings either living, dead or brain dead is coincidental. (Yeah, right!!)  If you can think a better title, you are most welcome. For people of the opinion that I try too hard, you don’t know yet. (wink)

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An interview with Vrakash Parma, who directed the commercials of SuSus for MO6 and the creators themselves.

Mr Parma, first things first. How did you get such a creative name for the characters ?

That’s something you will have to ask the creators. They are the creative ones. I just shoot.

( At least you shoot straight.) So let’s talk to the creators now. Mr. KamKaro Jao , How did you think of such a name ? I must confess, lots of my friends, me included are enthralled.

Well, as a kid, I used to go to the Jijamata Udyan Zoo very often. It is only natural … Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, why am I explaining about a zoo ? It’s actually because the people wearing these costumes had a difficult time getting out of it when you know, (ahem) nature calls. (Sheepish smile) Hence Susus. If you are wondering why not another rhyming word, then it boils down (ha ha ha) to the frequency really.

Oh (coughs..), naturally. And very clever. Care to tell us about the concept ?

It’s very simple really. I was sitting in my bedroom one fine afternoon, wondering “Why, these days everyone is into animation so much. In a way animated characters were stealing the charisma of humans. Hence I got to thinking, why not make an animation like advertisement with humans in it, instead ?

Wow!! That’s simply won-der-ful. Creativity at it’s peak. Are you sure you didn’t rip it off Bybendum ?

By Ben who ?

Not Ben. The Michellin Man!! Or, wait was it the mummies ?

Michelle in what ? And whose Mum ? Surely, I have heard of no such thing. You got to be donuts  if you are accusing me. I am always one revolution ahead!!

Ya, Right!! So what’s this new branch of ad-making going to be called ? Surely, there will be others who will copy you. This is India afterall.

Oh, I haven’t given it any thought really. But yes, now you bring it up, we Indians will copy it anyway. And keep copying it till everyone is bored of it. I think people will think of a title eventually.

Back to Mr. Parma. Ok, so tell us, Mr. Parma  What were the challenges you faced ?

The material was a big challenge. I mean we were initially just using a white sheet. But then someone notices that one, the sheets wrinkled a lot and two, instead of looking like cute creatures, these were now looking more like banshees.

So, you found an alternative we hear ?

Yes, we tried this material called “perspirex”, but that just made people sweat a lot. As a result of which there were no nature calls, and we couldn’t call these things susus any longer. That would have been a collapse of the entire concept. We couldn’t let that happen.

Oh, so ?

Well, this one guy who writes wise ass posts in his blog, gave us this suggestion and I must confess it’s wonderful and simple. Coming to think of it, I should have thought of it myself.

Uh-huh ? What is this suggestion ?

Toilet paper!! We just had to roll this person in toilet paper. And nature calls were no longer a problem. We just had to remove some portion of the covering (which was useful for other things) and cover em back once the business was done. Jolly good, I say.

Jolly good indeed.

Ladies and gentlemans, let there be applause.

I caught a cold somehow couple of days back. Blame it on the rains, blame it on me sweating it out in the gym (a white lie), blame it on the lack of sleep thanks to never ending work hours (another lie). So I have been trying whatever I can to make things better. Or so I thought.

Just before writing this post, I had just come home and sat down to check my mails. I was doing so, when all of a sudden I could smell something burning. Holy $#!% !! I go to the kitchen to find a tar like substance brewing in the saucepan on the stove. Ah, yes, just before I sat down to check my mail, I thought I’d make myself a cup of soup before dinner. I was kinda looking forward to it, actually. Hoping that it would clear away my cold to an extent. (I put a lot of pepper in it. ) Instead I have an almost solid remnants of the soup that would have been delicious no doubt. Not to mention, I have to clean that darn vessel now.

Now, Ill just have to go have my dinner with no soup

Everywhere you see these days, be it on television, be it on newspapers, be it on the Internet, you find “ZooZoos”. They don’t even spare your official e-mail id. People even in your office flood it with forward after forward about “Zoozoos”!!

Personally I don’t get what’s the big deal with it anyway. I mean I know there is a huge fan following for these commercials. People who go all “How cuteeee” and become 5 year olds again. I am sure there is at least one person reading this post who unconsciously smiles every time a Zoozoo advertisement is played on TV. (At least till you read this. Sorry, if I make you conscious the next time.)

To me, these are just annoying advertisements. I mean, I know its cute!!!…. and all, but if you sit back and think (maybe over a cold beer), what does that advertisement mean really ? How does it in anyway concern Vodafone or what service they offer  ? The link is rather thin.vI mean there are these (not)-animated characters on screen making weird and annoying sounds/noises/grunts. I am not taking anything away from the ad-maker, though. I mean nice concept and all. But it could have been put to better use. Something more meaningful perhaps ?