Karthik’s Log

I have the most impossible questions when it comes to knowing about things. I read lot’s of FAQ’s on Orkut and other places. I thought I’d compile my own list as most of them are unnecessarily long and badly typed out.

Do note that I do not have first hand information and all sources of information have been collected from here, here and here. I have done a considerable amount of poring over badly written comments and statements. So if there are inaccuracies, don’t hit the roof.

FAQ’s

1. What is the training program that I will undergo on joining?

2. What are the technologies that I may be expected to work on?

3. Will there be any evaluation during my training?

4. Is there an agreement/bond to be signed?

5. What should I do in case I am not able to open the PDF attachment and print the e-letter before I leave for the location of my initial reporting and training?

6. What are the documents that I need to carry on my joining date?

7. I am yet to receive my final mark sheets and provisional degree certificate. Can I produce then after I join?

8. Will the offer be valid till the completion of my studies?

9. Whom do I keep informed about a change in my postal address/email id?

10. Can I bring my personal computer or laptops to the Infosys campus?

11. When will I receive details of my initial accommodation? Till when can I avail the accommodation?

12. Where do I report on my joining date? Whom do I contact for my initial accommodation arrangements at my training location?

Answer to questions 01 through 12 can be found in the e-mail sent by Infosys. If you haven’t gotten it yet, be patient.

Other Questions

13. Do I need to prepare anything before joining the training?

Answer: Infosys had indeed given a list of books to read up on before joining the training. But if you haven’t done that, no sweat. You will be evaluated on how well you can learn and not how much you already know. It does give you an edge, but that’s all really. They teach you very well and as long as you don’t sleep,(there as well) chances are it won’t be a problem.

14. How long is the training for?

Answer: I hear that there will be a test even before the training starts.(First day of joining mostly.) It might only be for the CSE and IT students. The people clearing this test will be assigned to Short Cycle or Fast Track (as it seems to be called.) The others will be in Long Cycle. Short Cycle supposedly lasts for 8 weeks while Long Cycle lasts for 16 weeks.

15. What will we be learning in training? (Also see FAQ 2)

Answer: The training is broken into two sections. Generic Stream and Specific Stream. (You should log into your Infosys login to find out what you are expected to learn in that.)

16. How are we assigned Specific Streams?

Answer: I am not sure if there is an internal system to monitor your performances, but as far as I can see (from other comments), it seems that it is totally AT RANDOM. So all of you who cribbed about not getting a chance to choose your electives there you go, the real world is just as cruel as Engineering colleges are. It is put as based on business requirements.

17. Do I have to buy books and take any study material as such?

Answer: Not really. They have libraries. (And they will be nothing short of magnificent.) And you are given study/course material. A few say the study/course material is all you need to know to pass their exam.

18. Why is their course material called Champak ?

Answer: Your guess is as good as mine.

19. How will the exams be conducted? (or) What will be the mode of examinations?

Answer: Online I hear. It’s apparently called OLE’s (On-Line Exam)

20. What will the daily routine be like?

Answer: Morning Yoga

09:00 – Training Classes

13:00 – 1 hour Lunch

14:00 – Training Classes

17:00 – 1 hour break

18:00 – Training Classes

20:00 – Dinner

21. Are weekends off?

Answer: Yes and thank God for that.

Mysore Specific Questions:

22. So, how are hostels or rooms allocated?

Answer: A room is shared by two people. I hear the room has TV’s and two beds. It also has such things as toiletries, towels, tea bags…etc. The allotting of rooms is again random. You cannot choose your room mates.

Apparently, you can also make use of Swimming, Bowling, Tennis and Library Facilities.

23. Where in Mysore is Infosys?

Answer: The address is as follows:

Infosys Technologies Limited.

No. 350, Hebbal Electronics City,

Hootagalli,

Mysore – 570 018

24. How far is Hootagalli from Mysore Railway station?

Answer: I am not very certain of this, but it looked like less than 10 Kilometers on Wikimapia. There seems to be a station called Belagola very close to Hebbal Electronics City, but then I am not sure if Suburban Trains ply between stations.

25. How much do I have to pay for my rooms?

Answer: I hear it is Rs 1,500 -1,800 per month and it is deducted from your salary.

26. How about food? Do I have to pay for it from my pocket?

Answer: Yes, food is not on credit basis and one has to pay money. I will not comment on the quality of food. Both North Indian and South Indian Cuisines are available.

27. How will I commute within the campus?

Answer: This is one of the coolest things if you ask me. You get to drive bicycles inside the campus. Don’t worry about finding yours in the crowd. You can drive off on any bicycle as long as you stay within the campus. You better know riding a cycle though.

28. I hear there is a multiplex on the campus?

Answer: Right you are. There is one. Don’t ask me what movies will play though. With some luck you could catch The Dark Knight there.

29. What clothes do I wear?

Answer: That is clearly mentioned in the offer letter.

30. Can I take any form of electronic media inside? If, not why?

Answer: Seems like you cannot. No Cd’s ,DVD’s,Thumbdrives…etc. I heard even MP3 players are a no. Not sure of this though. You can have a cell phone with you. Camera or no camera.

As to the why, all software companies have sensitive data that should not be revealed to the outside world. They would not want you selling their company secrets.

31. Do I need to carry any money with me when I go to Mysore for training?

Answer: Yes and the Infosys offer letter clearly states that it is advisable to carry a sizeable amount of money with you. Rs 5,000-6,000 should be adequate.

32. I fall sick very often. IS there a doctor on campus?

Answer: Yes. They seem to have given it some thought.

33. I have been called on 23^rd June. Can I go report on the 22^nd of June and stay there for the night?

Answer: Seems so. But it is best you call them up or email them and find out. But from what I read and hear, you can report one day in advance.

34. How about salary and salary accounts once inside?

Answer: Salary will be credited to your salary account. An ICICI account will be created for you on the day you join. You should have an ATM inside the campus.

35. Is it cold in Mysore? And should I carry any woolens?

Answer: Compared to Chennai yes. And maybe you should carry some woolens.

36. Can I go outside the campus on Saturdays and Sundays?

Answer: Thankfully, this is not like a Jeppiar run college. You are free to go outside the campus on weekends. Actually, you can even go on weekdays.

37. What are the other Formalities before joining ?

Answer: You need to have applied for a passport, a four wheeler driving licence and registered yourself with NSR. (National Skills Registry.)

38. I have more questions. What should I do?

Answers: Mail Infosys. Also read here and here.

P.S: I am turning comments off because I do not want stupid questions like, I am afraid of joining, what should I do ?

Here are a few pictures of the Infosys Mysore campus I found online:

I own the K810i and my friend Vibushan has K790i. Except for a few cosmetic changes and 3G, the phones are pretty much the same. I had earlier written about K810i here Sony Ericsson K810i

While there are plenty of reasons why you should buy the phone (and I am not just saying that because I own it), there are also a few reasons why you shouldn’t buy the phone. Sony Ericsson needs to know that they are idiots to miss out on these features,

1. Lack of keypad password protect-Now, this is on top, because it is the most annoying feature or rather the absence of it which drives me crazy. Most entry level Nokia phones have this feature. Some Motorola phones go a step further by having separate passwords for each application. While that might not be necessary, here’s why you need at least one master password for your phone: Would you like to have your contacts taken from your phone ? Would you like people to peek into your camera folder and see all the pictures you shot ? Would you like people to simply take your phone and make calls ? Or use the internet for that matter ?
2. Cannot Pause Videos-I installed ImToo the other day and cracked it at the expense of having to re-install XP (thanks to the spyware it introduced) just so that I could watch a few videos on my phone. But Guess what ? You cannot pause a video!! That’s just lame. You expect me to watch a 30 minute video without ever pausing it once ? You must be really crazy. As Manish points out in his comment, it is indeed possible to pause videos when you launch them through the video player. Thanks to him for that piece of information.
3. Cannot FFWD ,RWD Videos-You also cannot fast forward or rewind videos.Now, this is just as bad, if not worse than the lack of the pause feature. Not only can you not pause videos now, you can’t go forward to the scene where you stopped the video. In a day and age where players can remember the pause location of multiple videos, this is lame. As Manish points out again in his comment, it is also possible to fast forward and rewind videos when you launch them through the video player.
4. Stopwatch lacks save feature-If you have used Nokia phones, then you know that after you have used the stopwatch, you can save the timings and later on look at it. With Sony Ericsson though, you can’t. That’s just plain dumb. What would it take to add such a feature (assuming Nokia didn’t patent it. Even if they did, why can’t SE license it ?) For someone who times walks and stuff, this feature even if only small is infinitely annoying.
5. I like some individuality- This has nothing to do with the phone. It’s just that I like to own things that the majority of the people don’t normally consider. So, buy another phone.

There are some other reasons too, but I’ll compile them and post it sometime later. Till then, don’t consider buying Sony Erisccon K810i and K790i. Also K800i

Yet another Chetan Bhagat book. I thought Five Point Someone and One Night At A Call Centre were pretty alright. Nothing great, but readable at least. So, I did not have any expectations when I set out to read this book. (Actually I didn’t even know there was a third book by him till my dad bought it.   So much for my quizzing claims)

Cricket:

I won’t bore you about the contents of the books itself, but if you ask me, Chetan Bhagat is doing what his characters are doing in the movie. Making use of the Cricket Craze in India to make money. Maybe I am being harsh on him, but that’s the truth. Nothing wrong with it though.

It’s not that hard to write a book that has Cricket as it’s central theme. But still, credit must be given to Bhagat for having made it readable.

Cricket Specific Things:

The Australia’s tour of India when Harbhajan Singh emerged on scene has been blended into the story. Ganguly and his captaincy find mention.

One of the things I noticed was Sadagoppan Ramesh and VVS Laxman being thought of as quota players or players who have some influence and made it to the team. While I have nothing against the writer for writing that, that’s actually how North Indians think of South Indian players. They can’t speak Hindi after all. And if you are a vegetarian, there goes your only chance.

While S Ramesh might not have been the best player in his day, he was definitely a good player who deserved a place in the playing XI at least in the longer format of the game. (Test, not ODI. Too much T20 influence I say)

The same can be said of Laxman. One of the better Test players India has seen.

Gujrat Quake and Riots:

Bhagat has done some research in this book and woven real life incidents with fiction. That’s nice. In a way, the reader (especially if from those parts), relates to the book. More than the quakes, the riots and the Godhra incident are woven in.

BJP VS Congress ?:

There is no mention of the Party names itself in the book, but you can’t help wondering the similarity given the events and other such things. If that’s the case, I must say Bhagat is Pro-Congress. Whether he is interested in entering Politics, you should ask him. Lok Paritran maybe ?

Product Placement-Frooti:

There were innumerable mentions of Frooti in the book. While, it might be coincidence or Bhagat’s favourite drink, I think it’s a case of product placement. When you notice a product in a book or a movie more times than you should, chances are it’s roduct placement. He must have gotten a decent sum for it. (For people who don’t know what product placement is, it’s when Shah Rukh Khan wears a Tag Heur in his movies and gets paid for it. )

Other Things:

There are a few other things I would have liked to discuss, but then maybe you should read the book. But if I had to hint, I wish I could teach tuitions too and visit Bondi beach.

A While back, I wrote on Worst Advertisements on TV. I was too lazy to find out some videos the other day. Seems like the Coke advertisement has been around for a while. Here it is:

The background score is different in the TV commercial. The current TV commercial also edits out certain parts of this commercial. But, how lame does it look ? If they expect is to swing the bottle over our heads the next time before having Coca Cola, let me assure you, I ain’t having any.

Actually, when it comes to India, Pepsi has always made more innovative advertisements compared to Coca Cola. Coca Cola comes up with the lamest of advertisements.

The Godrej Video, I still can’t find.

Vodafone makes some good advertisements and some bad advertisements. The worst Vodafone advertisements however are the ones that have Irfan Khan in them. If there is one person who puts Indian Newsreadres’ intellect to shame, it has to be this guy.

Now, The advertisement I am talking about is not yet available on You tube. It’s the one that talks about how how when you have sisters in two cities, you talk less to the sister to whom you have to make STD calls. Bravo, bravo. It ends with a sentimental, Local or STD, a sister is a sister.

All wonderfully done. Just like stupid Indian movies. Now lets look at it logically.

• Vodafone charges 1 Rupee for every call you make per minute inside India. Nice. So they are trying to enforce equality and all that.
• I know the scheme makes sense to people who make a lot of STD calls. (But then there’s Skype these days for those of you who have computers. Otherwise, if you are really keen on making STD calls, there’s Reliance. )
• Now, coming to whether the scheme makes sense, how many sisters do you have ? One, Two ? Three at the most ? Actually, forget that. How many of those sisters live in another state in India but not in another country ? (I know of cases where more siblings live abroad than in other states.)
• How many of you actually make more STD calls than Local calls ? (No, missed calls don’t count.)
• Now, I have a scheme under which I can make calls to three numbers inside TN (Vodafone) for 10 Paise per minute. Which means, I can talk ten minutes for the same one Rupee I’d be paying per minute if I made a local call under the aforementioned scheme.
• Now, I know lots of people would like to argue that you make quite a few STD calls, but believe me, statistically it can be proved (George can maybe help me with it ) that you are more likely to discuss what you want to do over the weekend more often than what you want to do next year during holidays. You will be discussing local train timings more than you will be discussing about making a trip to your relatives house.
• Now, why would I want to change to this 1 Rupee scheme when am actually better off with my current scheme ? 

Vodafone, stop making fools of people even if they are willing to be fooled.  You know I am actually happy with such advertisements. You know why ? Because it makes me feel good about myself. All those supposedly creative people who said “Engineering is for losers”, come up with loser advertisements like this themselves. So bad that all it takes is an Engineer to realise that the guy who did the advertisement forgot his creativity somewhere and is still searching for it. I feel good about myself. About being an Engineer.

Here is one Irfan Khan Vodafone advertisement:

This is the 99 Rupee per month scheme I accidentally recharged with. And I ended uo spending more than 200 Rupees for the  month anyway. At least, I didn’t look at the advertisement before recharging with thhe scheme. That would have been adding insult to injury.

In this advertisement, according to Irfan Khan,

A new movie releases, we end up spending 200 rupees.

Wrong!! I almost never watch movies in theatres and even if I do, I never spend 200 rupees for a movie. Ever heard of torrents mate ?

Tea and water costs you more than 100 Rupees these days.

What ? How many litres did you have ?

To end it, he asks the hotelier the bill, to which he replies, 155 Rupees. What ? How ? You can have a decent meal in a decent restaurant for that much. If you eat in places George does, maybe for a week.

On the other hand, I thought the advertisement with the Credit was actually pretty good. (No doubt it’s just another scheme to make more money by fooling you. But at least it’s creatively good.)

iplt20.com offered free commentary of IPL cricket matched until a few days back, when they decided to make it a paid service. I prefer sitting on my computer and listening to the commentary on my earphones while I do something else.

What’s funny with this live commentary is, they forget to mute the microphone in between overs. It’s really funny. Seriously!! Between overs, you will hear Ravi Shasthri saying “I am going out.” and then “Yes, he is outside the commentary box.” And then he would cough a little. There would be laughter once in a while. Poor guys. They are not meant to be heard. What if he was sharing his phone number with someone ?

Shabby editors. I don’t know if they didn’t notice it or being Indians, they noticed it and said “Heck, who cares. Let them be heard.” Either way, it’s really sad because it shows the lack of professionalism on the part of the organisers. At least they should have let these guys know that they were audible all over the Internet.

I wanted to record the commentary in between overs and put it on You tube or something. But, poor guys. They were just doing their job and someone else wasn’t. They shouldn’t be paying the price for that. (See, I am a nice guy.)

Gokul sent me this. I normally do not read forwards and even if I do, I do not think them of them as worthy to be published on my blog. But when Gokul sends you a mail, you don’t ignore it. Some of it actually makes sense even if at the expense of sounding chauvinistic.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!

6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

9. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.

10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

11. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

16. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

17. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine . . . . Really.

19. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or tanks.

20. You have enough clothes.

21. You have too many shoes.

22.Every dish can be improved with bacon. (Not quite )

23.Do not trust a man who calls the bathroom “the little boys room.”

24.Women who sound sexy on the phone weigh 350 pounds.

25.No talking at the urinal.

26.A man may own exactly one pair of holiday-themed boxers.

27.Never date a woman whose father calls her “princess.”

28.A PBS tote bag does not make you an intellectual.

29.The weirder the cell phone ring, the more annoying the person.

30.Real men don’t dance.

A while back, we were discussing on the same thing. Only, I thought December (or Later) is Definitely Bad

While that might be true, June does seem a little too early. I have stuff to do. Not only the enjoy the vacation part, but also the stuff that my employer requires me to do. I don’t have a driving licence yet, I haven’t applied for the passport yet and there’s this NASSCOM registration which I haven’t even bothered to read up on. So you can clearly see why I am freaking out a little.

Infosys finally decided to call our batch to join training on the 23rd of June. Marc came to know first (even if he wasn’t the first to get the mail from our college. I ain’t letting you have the bragging rights man.) and we all thought he was lying about it anyway. But then it is true he checks mail more often than the people whom I had to call to notify that ‘the mail’ had come.

If I have reason to freak out, let me assure you other have more reasons. How ?

This is how:

1) Home sick and all that is out of question for me. I was in boarding school as early as the 6th grade.

2) I ate in my college mess for 4 years. For anyone to serve food equally bad is quite hard and worse I think is simply out of the equation.

The other reasons, I cannot state without sounding a like I am showing off. I’d like to avoid that.

So we have another 20 odd days to prepare ourselves to be trained intensively. I am quite looking forward to that actually. We will know in due course how it all goes.

Ok, I tried the best I could to find a search term that would yield images or videos of what I was trying to find, but then couldn’t. So I guess, I will just have to write a few thousand words instead.

There’s been a lot of fuss really about the recent IPL and the cheerleaders. All the cheerleaders are asking the Government officials is to “Bare with them”, but these buggers, can’t even consider that request!! They keep saying “Not in public place.” (Wonder what they mean.)

Anyway, I was watching Chennai’s match yesterday and I couldn’t help noticing something about the Chennai cheerleaders’ moves. It seemed oddly familiar. I am sure I have seen that somewhere before. Then it came to me….

Proposed Changes:

I propose the following changes,

1) Take away those frilly cheer-leading-things (?) from them and give them a bunch of neem leaves instead. (Neem wards of evil and is supposed to be healthy. No ? What’s more ? If you forget to brush your teeth, guess what you can use ?)

2) The attire can be duly changed from team colours (uniforms) to sarees or something more suitable to go with the culture. (You can still maintain support to the team by wearing Yellow sarees. Isn’t that what people wear in temples normally ?)

3) Change the music to “Mariamma, Mariamma……..” Sivamani can manage the drumming I guess.

Ok, you pretty much get where I am going with this, don’t you ? No ? (Ok, thank God for you, I found some pictures finally. Thousand words was looking like a daunting task. Phew.)

(second image courtesy: here )

Disclaimer: Now, I am trying to make fun, but it’s also a jolly good idea. This way, everyone is happy and maybe the Chennai Super Kings will win for a change with Divine Intervention.

My humble apologies to God, in case it even sounds remotely like I am poking fun at Him/Her. But I am not. Better be cautious though. Don’t want to take chances with God.

Bad news guys. After almost a week after staying away from the blog, I am back. Sorry for all of you who thought and expected the break to last longer. If any consolation, I shall be writing lesser crap now. So cheer up.

Done with Engineering:

What prompted me to write the post is that I am finally done with Engineering. Can you believe it ? I can’t. My performance in the last semester has been abysmal. That was only expected, with me spending most of my time on the project (which seemed meaningful except, we were evaluated for 20 marks!! Everyone gets a 180 irrespective of what they did or did not do. Sad) A couple of my friends (from other departments) managed to get 200. I am happy for them and sad for myself. I was left three bloody marks short. But then I have reasons to feel good. After all Shiva (the God of coding ) got only 195 or so, while his batch mates form other departments got 200.

Evaluation (or the lack of it):

I don’t think they even evaluated our papers. To back this claim, first, I passed the exams!! Second, every Tom, Dick and Harry has a 90 plus in all subjects (except me.) and third, no one in my class who didn’t have any arrears at the end of seventh semester flunked. I think the AU people just threw papers into pre-marked mark zones with a blindfold on.

No, matter what, I am Engineer now. And what’s more ? I got thorugh without any arrears in the 8 semesters, Which means I also pass with distinction. Nice. Now to bigger and better things in life.